March 10, 2009

I Saw Your Dad Play Basketball Last Night


I stopped by Wizards/Wolves game last night because I didn't have anything to do and they were giving out tickets in exchange for canned food. Something about Y2K, I guess. Seemed pretty legit, but maybe they were planning on deploying some kind of horrible weaponry and needed a stocked bomb shelter. Either way, I took my can of peaches with me down to the gym and got a seat.

And dude, your DAD was playing for the Timberwolves. Yeah, seriously, your dad.

I'm sure it was him. He was bald but had that little bit of side hair like Scott Skiles and the flesh-colored beard. It had to have been your dad. You said he's been able to get back in the gym after the heart thing, right? Yeah, I thought so. It was definitely him. He had the knee braces on and everything.

Oh, and he was doing all those old man moves, like hooking guys when he spins down low and shooting that fade-away from the left block that he loves so much. And he was throwing all kinds of backdoor passes.

I'm telling you, it was him. He was so sweaty. It was kinda gross, but he's like 50 something right? I mean, I sweat a lot and I'm only 25. I can't imagine how sweaty I'll be when I'm 50. I guess twice as sweaty, technically. That's a lot of sweat. I'm a little nauseous just thinking about it.

But it was cool seeing your dad playing again. He was seriously taking it to some of the younger guys. Next time you talk to him, tell him I say hi. He'll know what it means.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude! You should totally see the rookie backup point guard in Toronto. It's your awkward 14-yr. old cousin! And he still can't shave!

The Dude Abides said...

I guess your seats were too far away for you to get a whiff of the liniment. The guy guarding "Dad" looks like he just caught a whiff.

Five Pound Bag said...

Your dad's playing all right. Too bad he's stuck on the same team with your old lesbian aunt.

Anonymous said...

Yeah well my dad is the 3rd highest paid player on the team!

Unknown said...

yeah the player on the raptors is roko ukic,
and this dude is brian cardinal right?

Anonymous said...

Best article I've read all day. awesome comments too, about the 14 yr old and the lesbian.

Anonymous said...

3rd highest paid..... he's a bargain at that price.... don't hate him, we all should be jealous..... were the bums working a 9-5 not him....